1,246 Quotes by George Carlin

It's the only metaphor we have in our public discourse for solving a problem; it's called declaring a war. We got a war on poverty, the war on crime, war on litter, the war on cancer, the war on drugs.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music.

If people stand in a circle long enough, they'll eventually begin to dance.

A lot of the people who keep a gun at home for safety are the same ones who refuse to wear a seat belt.

Some people see the cup as half empty. Some people see the cup as half full. I see the cup as too large.

Don’t just teach your children to read. Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.

Even volleyball is racquet-less team ping pong played with an inflated ball and a raised net while standing on the table.

Don't just teach your kids to read, teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.