1,246 Quotes by George Carlin

I like Florida. Everything is in the 80's. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's.

We ought to have a diet salad dressing called '500 Islands.'

Don't just teach your children to read.Teach them to question what they read.Teach then to question everything.

The caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity

An Ideal Husband Life is a near-death experience.

Rhetoric paints with a broad brush.

Men are four times more likely than women to commit suicide, even though women attempt it more.

A lot of gay men stay in the closet because they are interested in fashion.

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?