1,246 Quotes by George Carlin

Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking

The word bipartisan means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out

A person of good intelligence and of sensitivity cannot exist in this society very long without having some anger about the inequality - and it's not just a bleeding-heart, knee-jerk, liberal kind of a thing - it is just a normal human reaction to a nonsensical set of values where we have cinnamon flavored dental floss and there are people sleeping in the street.

I hate Dr Phil. Dr Phil told me to express my feelings, so I'm expressing them.

a blank slate -- and you get to play.

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body

The bigger they are, the worse they smell

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch tv too much. We have multiplied our possessions but reduces our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years.