149 Quotes by George Lopez

I’m not afraid to take on somebody or say something that somebody will find offensive because unfortunately in comedy, you can’t say anything really good without offending somebody.

At the factory, I deal with ex-cons, substance abusers, and sexual harassers. And I’m not just talking about my mom.

Life is moments going by, but if you don’t grab them, they’re gone. For a long time, the only moments that were available were bad ones. So now I make sure to grab the good ones.

Presents? We already bought you a lot of things. Member when we were at the market and I bought you gum? You’member.

Barack Obama may be black, but John McCain is the first Albino presidential candidate: he’s completely see-through!

I love comedy and I would write things to myself as an exercise in writing. I didn’t do well for years, and I quit. I started to break down why I was afraid and started to look at people I admired, like Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, Freddie Prinze, George Carlin and all.

It’s not even about black and white anymore, because so many people are from mixed backgrounds and mixed ethnicities, and it’s just a great time to be able to pull all that together.

Freddie Prinze was my idol, and he died, and there is not much of his stuff to look at. But now, your comedy can live on forever.

In life, there's a ying and a yang and a balance. And when you don't have balance, you have comedy.