143 Quotes by Gilbert Gottfried

I’d make Jack Benny look like a philanthropist.

I’m used to explaining to people why my jokes were funny.

Comedy historians take note: this Gottfried character doesn’t have the best eye for detail – and, for a Jew, he doesn’t have the best eye for retail, either.

I’m a very anti-vacation person. Because I’m always getting on planes for work, to me, a vacation is when I don’t have to get on a plane.

Unfortunately, I’ve never been mistaken as Johnny Depp.

I’ve never understood people who say they’re not a practicing Jew. You never hear a black guy say he’s not a practicing African-American. What does it even mean?

I’m eventually gonna take the Daryl Hannah parts.

Well, I play Jews and parrots. Parrots are how I’ve branched out.

I’ve done a lot of Fox shows since then – Married with Children, Living Single and a whole bunch of other Fox things.