143 Quotes by Gilbert Gottfried

One thing I can take credit for, along with the rest of show business, is when the red ribbons were out, we cured AIDS. Any advancements that came towards fighting AIDS were not done by scientists or doctors - it was people with little ribbons on their lapels.

I was the class podiatrist. I never made it to class clown. I wasn't funny enough. I would examine feet and prescribe and ointment. It was a sad childhood.

I think a lot of people have too much time on their hands.

I think of Alan Thicke as Perry Como without the excitement.

I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time.

Well, I play Jews and parrots. Parrots are how I've branched out.

In real life I'm a tall, blond Christian.

I don't know if I change my act from century to century. Sometimes I'm onstage doing imitations and references to people who have been dead for 50 years.

People have many theories about comedy, but being just plain funny is the one most important thing.