146 Quotes by Gina Barreca

When you enter your next relationship, you become the person you split up with.

Time doesn’t offer a refund. We don’t get to try on the future the way we try on a bathing suit and then decide we don’t like it once we see what it looks like in natural light.

Our beliefs define us. And who wants to be undefined in today’s world? So we scrape together convenient truths and build our identities out of them.

Comics know that time plus pain equals humor and that we can redeem even awful moments from the past by translating them into a shared experience.

Make your own choices before anyone else makes them for you and way before the house lights are lowered.

The holidays make her feel as if she’s supposed to be in a cuddle, since everybody else suddenly seems paired off, like mittens, slippers or AA batteries.

This year’s vintage is best enjoyed this year. Let’s begin.

Like most women, I’ve spent far too much time shuffling around this mortal coil looking for non-horror-show toilets. Few of my male counterparts partake of this quest. Instead, with the cheerful insouciance of Labrador puppies, they regard the earth as their urinal.

India’s latest latrine triumph will improve the lives of many of its citizens. Given what else has been going on in the rest of the world, any reports of currently “defecation-free” zones, literal or metaphorical, are welcome.