75 Quotes by Grady Hendrix

Abby Rivers was a certified grown-up because she'd finally cried at a movie.

Hating clowns is a waste of time because you’ll never loathe a clown as much as he loathes himself, but a magician? Magicians think they’re wise and witty, full of patter and panache, walking around like they didn’t deserve to be shot in the back of the head and dumped in a lake. For all the grandeur of its self-regard, magic consists of nothing more than making a total stranger feel stupid. Worse, the magician usually dresses like a jackass.

A monstrous bird unfurled its wings inside Amy’s chest and her anger felt bigger than the world.

No one loves me! Boo hoo! Guess what? We play fucking metal! I don't want to sing about your sad feelings! I want dragons.

I can't believe that after a lifetime of playing metal, it turns out the world is a shitty country song.

Think of us what you will," she thought, "we made mistakes, and probably scarred our children for life, and we froze sandwiches, and forgot car pool, and got divorced. But when the time came, we went the distance.

Everyone's hungry for our children," she said, and her voice cracked. "The whole world wants to gobble up colored children and no matter how many it takes it just licks its lips and wants more.

The most expressive parts of her body are her nipples. They noticeably harden when she is aroused, surprised, confused or meeting new people. They are practically prehensile tentacles, capable of lengthening, thickening, unfurling, budding, flaring and swelling.

It’s degrading to watch the woman who hauled us back from the brink reduced to the status of waitress for her children. Eventually they won’t have their mother to be their short-order cook and laundress and maid. They’ll have to trick some poor woman into marrying them to get all that for free again.