277 Quotes by Greg Behrendt

I don't have to edit myself. I get to be me, warts and all, and that's ultimately what people want, and to trust each other implicitly.

So, I play in a band. It's a really underground band. Super underground. Very underground. Like, we don't even actually play.

If you bury the pain deep down it will stay with you indefinitely, but if you open yourself to it, experience it, and deal with it head-on, you'll find it begins to move on after a while.

I'm certain prison is pretty rough as it is but imagine if you were a murderer and a foodie!

Beware of the word 'friend'. It can often be used by men or the women that love them to excuse the most unfriendly behavior. Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep.

People say get a job doing something you love. So far no one has offered to hire me to eat Whoppers with a switchblade.

People don't admire you for what you hate, they admire you for what you do about it, and your slacks.

As a guy I never liked being told to call, which my wife really never does, and that's why I call her as often as I do.

Good enough to tweet, not to say.