277 Quotes by Greg Behrendt

Your happiness is the most important thing in this life. If you are not happy, you are of no use to anyone else.

Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you’re with is a big, selfish jerk.

People don’t respond to what you tell them; they respond to what you show them.

Part of being a comedian is that it’s your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.

There’s nothing wrong with sending a quick note if you’re busy or just want to flirt, but it’s hard to have any real interaction over text. In the buffet of communication, text messaging should be a side dish, not the entree.

Lying, cheating, hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who’s really into you.

The harsh reality is that even if you have everything else in common, the one thing you don’t have in common is the belief that this relationship can work.

When a guy is into you, he let’s you know it.

Send her a quick note while you’re stuck in a long meeting. A lighthearted chat definitely makes the time go faster.