277 Quotes by Greg Behrendt

I rarely sit down to write something. I usually have an experience and relate it to somebody and go, 'There I connected some dots,' you know? That's what makes people laugh. And then you go and take it on the stage, and sometimes it works, and sometimes people go, 'What's he talking about?' I don't know; I thought it was it funny in the kitchen.

big plans require big action

Most authors writing books like 'He's Just Not That Into You' dream of doing what I was being asked to do. I didn't like it. I'm good at giving advice, but doing it on TV and radio felt wrong, and when people resisted my point of view, I was like, 'Why am I doing this? This was not the plan.' So I stopped. It didn't make me feel good.

I get giddy with the idea of stringing words together that make people laugh.

The reason it's so painful when someone disappears is you have to face the fact that the person you loved had probably left you a long time before he grabbed his coat and scrammed.

This life is yours and no one else's, and if you spend your time looking at other people's pages, you'll never get anything done.

Part of me also knows that this generation is the least racist and most pro-gay, so that's great. But they have a real lack of gravitas. And they have no taste in music. Vampire Weekend? Can we play some music, please? Can we rock out for a minute? Where's your Metallica?

We were raised to pursue women... Most of the guys I know enjoy the pursuit. But that doesn't mean women should be wallflowers.

It`s your version of whatever that is. We use those words because they are kind of empowering. Try to get back into your life and get back on track with dreams you have. There`s nothing more attractive than a person who likes herself.