316 Quotes by Greg Gutfeld

If you throw the baby away, that's garbage. But no, the heart's precious. You could get something, you could save a life. Well, you just threw away a baby but the heart's valuable. That's the horror and the terror and the hypocrisy that nobody can understand. We base communities on the idea of protecting children based on the sacrifice of adults. Adults work and die so that their next generation would grow and prosper.

So the villains aren't gay-hating Islamists or women killing tyrants, but actually us: an American Congress bent on the apocalypse. Don't we understand? Iranians love their children too.

Sanctuary cities are a lot like hitchhiking. And the abstract, it feels really good until you feel dead.

We're already going down that path with illegal drug use and incarceration. I can't imagine it getting any worse.

Steer clear of pot. It's an ambition zapper. Wait till you've made it. When you're 45 buy a bong. But for now, buy a suit.

Move somewhere with decent public transit so you don't drive drunk and hit somebody.

If you're hiring, if you're the person doing the hiring, forgive a scar or two. Remember that when we were young, we were also idiots. There were just no cameras there to catch it.

One thing I noticed when I was young was I was impatient for success. I think everybody is impatient for success. It will come. But don't - you shouldn't let that impatience drive you crazy.

What begins as a Utopian vision, always - always - ends in bloodshed. Because you have to force a utopia on a free people. Free people want to pursue their own happiness, but a one-size-fits-all approach requires herding the free, against their will, into the state's idea of what's right. Then it's not utopia.