316 Quotes by Greg Gutfeld

Military simulation is an important way of training people for an emergency.

Job creation is important I think, but it’s not the critical issue for Republicans.

You also wonder if a restaurant placed an ad that read, “Only homeless need apply,” would they get fined? Probably not. But if they said, “No homeless apply,” they would be transient bigots. For as bureaucrats use language to punish the lawful, they use tolerance to coddle the troubled.

In the world of pop stardom, what is mistaken for rebellion? A mediocre artist who spouts political beliefs that most freshmen in high school could have come up with after huffing Glade.

Politicians, you know Harry Reid hates you. We get it. But when somebody from “The New York Times” or “The Washington Post” is saying this stuff, that’s different, that’s offensive, that’s wrong.

One thing I noticed when I was young was I was impatient for success. I think everybody is impatient for success. It will come. But don’t – you shouldn’t let that impatience drive you crazy.

As P. J. O’Rourke once observed, no woman daydreams about being swept off her feet by a liberal.

Good people suddenly don’t turn bad.

Republicans do actually care about health care. They just don’t care about government-run health care.