1,045 Quotes by H. L. Mencken


  • Author H. L. Mencken
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    The Gettysburg Adress has been included, of late, in several anthologies of poetry. It actually meets the major requirement of all poetry: It is a mellifluous and emotional statement of the obviously not true. The men who fought for self-determination at Gettysburg were not the Federals but the Confederates.

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  • Author H. L. Mencken
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    In every woman's life there is one real and consuming love. But very few women guess which one it is.

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  • Author H. L. Mencken
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    As long as you represent me as praising alcohol I shall not complain. It is, I believe, the greatest of human inventions, and by far - much greater than Hell, the radio or the bichloride tablet.

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  • Author H. L. Mencken
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    Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest.

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  • Author H. L. Mencken
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    It is often argued that religion is valuable because it makes men good, but even if this were true it would not be a proof that religion is true. That would be an extension of pragmatism beyond endurance. Santa Claus makes children good in precisely the same way, and yet no one would argue seriously that the fact proves his existence. The defense of religion is full of such logical imbecilities.

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  • Author H. L. Mencken
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    Of all the classes of men, I dislike the most those who make their livings by talking - actors, clergymen, politicians, pedagogues, and so on. .... It is almost impossible to imagine a talker who sticks to the facts. Carried away by the sound of his own voice and the applause from the groundlings, he makes inevitably the jump from logic to mere rhetoric.

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  • Author H. L. Mencken
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    The one permanent emotion of the inferior man is fear - fear of the unknown, the complex, the inexplicable. What he wants above everything else is safety.

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