73 Quotes by Hal Sparks

Hoffman will win. It's a crazy character, and Oscars like crazy people, and they want to give him a shout out for 'Twister.' That was his breakout role, you know.

I think it's going to be Reese. Again, if somebody that movie was about died in the last year or so, that's the odds on favorite. They like dead people at the Oscars. I mean, the Oscar will go to Reese and June Carter. How can you not give an Oscar to a dead woman?

Robin Hood Prince of Thieves is about a communist sympathizer in tights who, uh, takes people's hard earned money and gives it to lazy people.

People only have guilty pleasures when they crowbar pleasure down their throat all the time and then they reach for the brownies. Then you should feel guilty because you're killing your body and that's something to be guilty about.

Tori Amos had a major influence on how I craft words in a song. Until I heard 'Little Earthquakes' all my lyrics used really obvious analogies like rain for tears.

Tori Amos had a major influence on how I craft words in a song.

Other kids would sneak out of the house to go to parties and do untoward things. I was sneaking out to do standup downtown. It paid off.

'Cold Case Files' and similar shows do bang up business, which points to a certain thirst for details in the viewership, but it seems like all the news chat shows continue to force the myth that Americans can't stand detail and have no interest in an idea that can't fit on a bumper sticker.

They say things like 'you know what I like about living in a small town? Everybody goes to church together and to the general store. Everybody knows everybody.' That's total horse shit.