116 Quotes by Hannibal Buress

The ultimate thing is creating your own stuff and making projects for yourself. That's what Seth Rogen does. He's writing and producing a lot of the movies that he's the lead in.

When people go through something rough in life, they say, “I’m taking it one day at a time.” Yes, so is everybody. Because that’s how time works.

I applied for a job at Starbucks. One of the questions was, ‘Why do you want to work at Starbucks?’ Uh, because my life is in shambles.

I don’t even know how to use a semicolon to this day; I use a comma every time. And you know what? If I email somebody and they get upset about me using a comma instead of a semicolon, that’s not a person I want to work with anyway. And that’s how you weed people out of your life.

I like burritos more than Jesus because steak burritos are delicious. And they’re real.

I’m a dumb guy. My point of view is limited.

I’ve been going up and bombing everywhere. It’s great. I love it. It’s hilarious.

There’s a lot of dudes in my neighborhood that have handlebar mustaches. Which is cool if you want to have a handlebar mustache but don’t try to have a conversation with me like you don’t have a handlebar mustache.

I love stand-up. I look at it as a way to always stay productive. I couldn’t imagine only being an actor or a writer. Because what the hell do I do when I’m not working? Mope?