173 Quotes by Harriet Lerner


  • Author Harriet Lerner
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    Our society cultivates guilt feelings in women such that many of us still feel guilty if we are anything less than an emotional service station to others.

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  • Author Harriet Lerner
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    If you pay attention, you may find that it is not fear that stops you from doing the brave and true thing in your daily life. Rather, the problem is avoidance. You want to feel comfortable, so you avoid doing the thing that will evoke fear and other disquieting emotions. Avoidance will make you feel less vulnerable in the short run, but it will never make you less afraid.

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  • Author Harriet Lerner
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    When it comes to fighting shame, sticking together is the most powerful force imaginable.

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  • Author Harriet Lerner
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    The right to be different, whether by choice or necessity, is our greatest right as human beings. And dealing with differences is the greatest of all human challenges. People react anxiously and fearfully to differences. We learn to hate, glorify, deny, exaggerate, or eradicate a difference.

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  • Author Harriet Lerner
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    The right to be different, whether by choice or necessity, is our greatest right as human beings. And dealing with differences is the greatest of all human challenges. People react anxiously and fearfully to differences. We learn to hate, glorify, deny, exaggerate, or eradicate a difference. Or we try to get comfortable by shaming the different person or group.

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  • Author Harriet Lerner
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    people who feel shamed and inadequate themselves tend to pass it on. I’m sure you’ve noticed that many individuals and groups try to enhance their self-esteem by diminishing others.

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  • Author Harriet Lerner
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    Nothing is more fragile than a single snowflake,” it said. “But look what they can do when they stick together.

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