29 Quotes by Haven Kimmel

I once heard her tell a friend that she was, in fact, a 120-pound woman, but she kept herself wrapped in fat in order to prevent bruising.

But I think that what you’ll discover more and more as you get older is that most people aren’t thinking about you at all.

Contrary to popular opinion, my dad was not a lazy man. He was not lazy at all, for instance, when it came to Going Places In His Truck. He was also very industrious about Preparing To Go Camping. And if something really interested him, he would work on it all day.

My hair looks like it had been purchased at a rummage sale after all the real hair was gone.

The distance between Mooreland in 1965 and a city like San Francisco in 1965 is roughly equivalent to the distance starlight must travel before we look up casually from a cornfield and see it.

I later discovered that in order to be a good athlete one must care intensely what is happening with a ball, even if one doesn’t have possession of it. This was ultimately my failure: my inability to work up a passion for the location of balls.

I respect every way in which you are a troublemaker, now get up and do what your mother says.

Mother always said she was a size 7 woman she kept wrapped in fat to prevent bruising.

What kind of good deeds? Like Girl Scouts? Because I got kicked out of Brownies and they won’t give me another chance to keep my clothes on at camp.