298 Quotes by Helen Oyeyemi

Life has changed a lot, you know. You didn’t used to get all this food inside food inside food when I was a girl. The other day I was eating a mushroom and found it had been stuffed with prawns. I’ve got so many misgivings over this craze, Boy. It’s flying in the face of nature.

With boys there was a fundamental assumption that they had a right to be there – not always, but more often than not. With girls, Why her? came up so quickly.

There are people who are drawn to secrets as ants are to jam. Fausta’s one of them. She searches out all things unspoken and unseen-not to make them known, but to destroy them so that nobody knows they ever existed. That’s what makes her heart beat faster, the destruction of invisible foundations. Why? Because she finds it funny.

Young men... learn practical skills that set is in good stead for lives as the husbands of wealthy and educated women: Strong Handshakes, Silence, Rudimentary Car Mechanics, How to Mow the Lawn, Explosive Displays of Authority, Sport and Nutrition Against Impotance.

Wolves are hosting wedding feasts and witches are brushing their hair today.” Presence.

So many times I’ve encountered people who are just kind of like, ‘Yeah, Nigeria,’ and, you know, thump their chest and seem very sure of, like, being Nigerian. And I’m just kind of, like, I wish I could be that sure.

If I was afraid that something bad would happen, why wait? Why not make it happen now?

School is one long illness with symptoms that switch every five minutes so you think it’s getting better or worse. But really it’s the same thing for years and years.

The general advice is always be yourself, be yourself, which only makes sense if you haven’t got an attitude problem.