38 Quotes by Ian Hislop

The Tories are still game, but it's almost impossible to get anyone from Labour on. Perhaps we'll get a few more Labour rebels now.

I should go on Mastermind, answering questions on the life and times of Jeffery Archer. I'd get more questions right than he would!

They obviously couldn't get the two of them to be happy in the room together at the same time

You end up with this succession of periods when everything was marvellous - from King Arthur to the medieval times, Ivanhoe, chivalry, Henry VIII, Merry England, the Blitz

I do have a residual belief that, if at all possible, you should try not to mock the weak

England Their England by AG Macdonell which was written in the thirties and is about a young Scotsman who's got shell shocked during the First World War… I love it.

Modest about our national pride - and inordinately proud of our national modesty.

In Britian we have a free press. It's not a pretty press, but it's free. The people who can't bear the Daily Mail, they say: 'you should ban it'. No no, no no, you don't ban it... you don't buy it.

I’ve seen the Pokemon movie, which is probably the worst movie ever made on any subject ever.