17 Quotes by Ilya Ilf

Everyone drank to popular education and to the irrigation of Uzbekistan.

California is the most reactionary state in America. Fascist sentiments are very strong here.

Pushkin wrote Turkish poems and he was never in Turkey.

Podkolyosin asked tragically, “Why are you keeping quiet, like the League of Nations?

No one likes us, unless you count Criminal Investigations, which also doesn’t like us.

Maybe we could make it to Stalingrad on twenty rubles. But how would we eat? Vitamins, my dear comrade marshal, don’t get handed out for free.

All we need is twenty rubles to make the treasure ours. At this point we can’t scruple about using any means possible. “Aut Caesar aut nihil.” I choose Caesar, even though he’s clearly a monarchist.

Now tell me the truth, Lapsus, why do you write about things you’ve never seen before in your life? Things you don’t have the slightest idea about? Why is ‘peignoir’ a ball gown in your poem ‘Canton’? Why?