121 Quotes by J. B. Smoove

Before I got into stand-up, I used to be a hip-hop dancer in a crew, and my name was J. Smoove, and my partner was J. Groove.

I don't like to dabble in anything I don't do well. I don't talk politics.

Live TV has an amazing pace to it. You've got to be able to think quick, make changes last minute, and be funny and fast.

I'm looking to be the next comedy mogul.

My life is gardening, cleaning around the house and power washing.

My wife is a vegetarian. When my wife is with me, I eat vegetarian. When she's not, I eat meat. I'm just being honest.

People love things about Hollywood. People love to see the inside of what's going on.

I'm a thief. I steal scenes, I steal opportunities. I am the ultimate thief. I got sticky fingers.

I've done everything. Selling door-to-door fire extinguishers... In bars, I used to repair those machines that have 10 different buttons on them to spray club soda and seltzer.