25 Quotes by J.L. Merrow

Or have you simply been enjoying that North African river cruise?” “You what?” “In de-Nile?

Alan:I used rabbit-skin glue to size the panels. I got it from the artshop. I don’t know if they use real rabbits in it. It seems kind of ashame if they do, but then it’s not like there’s a rabbit shortage, isit? And maybe they only used rabbits that would’ve died anyhow.

Alan:I asked him what cat we should get,and he said it was my choice, so I got this little black one calledMinnie. I think the cat place must not have known Minnie’s amouse’s name. I thought maybe we should change it, but then Ithought, if Minnie doesn’t know, either, then it’s probably okay.

Alan:I don’t know whatthey did with all the crusts from the sandwiches. Maybe they putthem out for the birds after everyone had gone home. I hoped so.It’d be a shame to waste them.

But we had to stop ’cause Larry can’t throw for shit, and people in other punts were complaining about being hit by strawberries. Even though they was Marks and Spencer’s strawberries.

I didn’t know what to spend it on, ’cause my mum said she didn’t want me to buy her nothing. So I was going to buy Larry something, but he said I should spend it on something I always wanted. So I bought a cat.

I was coming so hard I literally saw stars. My orgasm seemed to go on forever, blacking out my vision and tearing through my body so violently I felt it had to leave a scar – and God, I’d wear that scar with pride.

I’ll learn all the katas and be the ninjing-est ninja that ever ninjed.” Bubbles whined, so I bent down to rub his silky little head. “Is it the c-word, Bubbs? Don’t you worry, we love the doggas as well as the katas.” David laughed.

See? I knew that’d get you in the mood. Good luck finding your lowest common denominator. Just remember, no multiplying until the third date.