64 Quotes by Jack Benny

I’m living in a very modest place. I have a room over-looking beautiful Claridge’s Hotel. I thought it was better than paying Claridge’s prices and overlooking the dump I’m living in.

I feel responsible for Johnny Ray’s success. See many years ago I asked him to be on my show and he asked for a lot of money and I cried. And he stole that from me.

There’s only five real people in Hollywood. Everyone else is Mel Blanc.

Any man who would walk five miles through the snow, barefoot, just to return a library book so he could save three cents – that’s my kind of guy.

When you talk about the world’s greatest entertainer you have to say Al Jolson because there was no one like him. Only Judy Garland and perhaps Frank Sinatra got anywhere near him!

I practice three hours daily on my violin so I won’t get worse.

A rich man is one who isn’t afraid to ask the salesperson to show him something cheaper.

I believe in being honest with myself. If there’s one thing I hate it’s when a comedian is great and won’t admit it. I’ve never met one like that, but if I did, I’d hate them.

Bill Paley is not only the greatest boss I ever had, but he’s the most brilliant, honest and warm human being I’ve ever met. And I’ll say that to his face – even if it costs me my job.