38 Quotes by Jackie Gleason

Sometimes the feeling that life is great just swells up inside you and fills you with joy.

One of these days... One of these days... Pow! Right in the kisser!

Drinking removes warts and pimples. Not from me. But from those I look at.

I have a ‘Play The Melody’ philosophy. It means don’t over arrange, don’t make life difficult. Just play the melody-and do it the simplest way possible.

The best part of you ran down your mother’s legs.

If you have it and you know you have it, then you have it. If you have it and don’t know you have it, you don’t have it. If you don’t have it but you think you have it, then you have it.

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you’re off it.

Golf and women are a lot alike. You know you are not going to wind up with anything but grief, but you can’t resist the impulse.

I’m no alcoholic. I’m a drunkard. There’s a difference. A drunkard doesn’t like to go to meetings.