58 Quotes by Jackson MacKenzie

People cannot go from abusing and manipulating you one day, to magically being healed a week later. This is simply impossible. Especially when this change occurs as a response to possible abandonment or rejection, there’s just no chance this is authentic change.

Psychopaths provide shallow praise and flattery only in order to gain trust. When you actually need emotional support, they will typically offer an empty response – or they will completely ignore you. With time, this conditions you not to bother them with your feelings, even when you need a partner the most, especially during times of tragedy or illness. You will begin to notice that you are never allowed to express anything but positive praise for them.

When they start backing away, you feel abandoned and betrayed, as though people only love you when you’re “perfect.” But no one asked you to be perfect, you chose to do that up front because you believed it was the only way people would love you. Then eventually you burn out, drop the mask, and act out. Then people leave and the protective self says, “Oh my God, people always leave me when I’m not perfect.” But that’s not the truth.

When we resolve these old painful beliefs, there is no longer anything to “save” or “be saved from.” We are unconditionally loved and accepted as we are. Participants in the drama triangle are resistant to that idea. Mindfulness and therapy can help us understand why.

In their interpersonal relationships, this leads to early idealization in the honeymoon phase, where they groom you to become a constant source of positive energy – temporarily satisfying their pathological feelings of emptiness. But because they are also angry and impulsive, you quickly start to discover that there won’t be any room for your own happiness. Once you fail to meet their rapidly shifting standards, you will be devalued and criticized until you have nothing left to offer to them.

It is recognizing and accepting the full extent of the damage this person caused, and choosing not to carry it as your own damage anymore. It means you can walk away much faster the next time.

The psychopath is constantly provoking drama, rivalries, and competitions. What separates them from everyday drama queens is their ability to appear innocent in all of it. They make subtle suggestions, then sit back and watch as others go down in flames for them.

During depression, negative thoughts find a way to stay in your mind by convincing your brain that they are more important than the positive thoughts.

True forgiveness comes from within, not from another person validating your compassion.