24 Quotes by James Veitch

I had an awkward moment when I got a phone call from the person pretending to be Winnie Mandela. 'Winnie' sounded about 12 years old, unfortunately - she'd probably been pushed to the telephone because she was the only one who spoke English.

People say we live in an age of information overload. Right? I don't know about that, but I just know that I get too many marketing emails.

I'd really like to be able to whistle with two fingers. Is this a biological thing? Is it to do with the teeth? Who teaches people to do this? How do I learn?

My hobbies are playing piano and guitar, pining for girls, worrying about climate change, pining for girls, and the poetry of John Keats.

That's the worst health condition you can have, not being alive.

I think of the spam folder not as Pandora's box but as a costume shop in which you can play and play at being whoever and whatever you wish. If only for a time.

I woke up one morning to an email from my friend Alex that said she'd had her bag stolen. Ordinarily, I'm quite quick on the uptake, but - maybe because of the way it was worded - I immediately replied, 'What??????' As soon as I hit send, I realised I was being scammed. But then they replied, and I thought, 'Well, why not?'

I've sent thousands of emails - the conversations in the book are just the success stories.

I know some people whose father has basically spent their whole inheritance on scammers. He's old; he wants to feel important, like he's doing business, so he goes to his bank and pays out - it's terrifying.