35 Quotes by Jana Deleon

No matter what happens to someone, at that exact moment, something that could be construed as worse is happening to someone else. That doesn’t lessen our own heartache. It doesn’t diminish the fact that right then, you’re dealing with one of the worst things that’s ever happened to you.

To my husband, Harold, I leave the Lower Bayou Motel. You’ve spent so many nights there with other women that I felt you should call the place home. It’s been operating in the red for the last eight years, owes back taxes since 1986, and is covered with deadly asbestos. Nothing but the best for you, dear.

Here’s the way the law works,” Carter said, “since it’s clear you aren’t smart enough to know. First, there’s an investigation where we gather evidence. Once we have evidence, we arrest people. I don’t care if you’re mayor of the universe. You still can’t direct me to arrest someone without evidence. So either shut up and let me do my job correctly or get in there and clean your own damned kitchen.

Forrest Gump had gotten it all wrong. Life wasn’t a box of chocolates. It was a box of ex-lax, and I felt like I’d consumed the entire thing.

If I were there, I’d turn the fire department hose on the entire street, which was probably why it was a good thing that I didn’t work with the general public.

Did you ever think you had all the answers when you were in the thick of something, but then when you take a step back, you realize you were so busy getting things done that you never stopped to ask yourself if it’s what you really want to do?

Are you going to sit down?” Ida Belle asked. “Or am I supposed to drive down the bayou with you up there looking like a Jackie Chan hood ornament?

Exactly,” Gertie said. “This hot young stud claiming to be a marine stationed in the Middle East friended her on Facebook. Apparently, he sent her long letters and poetry and even a nude photo.” “Doesn’t sound like anything worth putting a bra on for,” Ida Belle said. “Well,” Gertie said, “in all fairness, that photo is probably the closest Beulah will ever get to male plumbing.” “Are you kidding?” I said. “The Internet is full of male plumbing. It’s like the Walmart of man parts.