790 Quotes by Janet Evanovich

Joe" I said. "It's Stephanie.""Does this involve death?""Not yet.""Does this involve sex?""Not yet.""I can't imagine why else you'd be calling me.

You can run, but you can't hide, Cupcake." Morelli said. "I'll find you.""You are such a cop.""Tell me about it.

Are we fighting?" I asked Morelli."No. Were discussing.""Are you sure?""Am I yelling?" Morelli asked. "Is my face purple? Are the cords on my neck standing out? Am I waving my arms around?""No.""The were not fighting.

Does your mother know that you're carrying a gun? I'm going to tell her. I'm going to call and tell her right now." She sent me a look of utter disgust and slammed the front door. I was 30-year-old and Mrs Morelli was going to tell my mother on me. Only in the burgh.

Morelli grabbed the front of my shirt, pulled me to him, and kissed me. It was a great kiss, but I didn't know what the heck it meant. It seemed to me a breaking up kiss would have had less tongue.

I don't feel so good." Lula said. And she farted. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long fart. "Excuse me." she said. I was horrified and impressed all at the same time. It was a record breaking fart. On my best day, I couldn't come near to farting like that.

All my adult life I've hidden behind mascara. And if I'm really insecure, I add eyeliner. (Stephanie, Chapter 10)

Grandma was wearing a blond Marilyn Monroe wig, a hot pink tank top, black Pilates pants, and black kitten heels. She looked like the senior version of an inflatable sex toy doll that needed more air.

Grandma has a .45 long barrel that she keeps hidden from my mother. She got it from her friend Elsie, who picked it up at a yard sale. Probably it was in Grandma's purse. Grandma says it gives the bag some heft, in case she has to beat off a mugger. This might be true, but I think mostly Grandma likes pretending she is Clint Eastwood.