790 Quotes by Janet Evanovich

Kate prefers a loaded gun next to her bed.""Is that all?" Jake asked Kate. "Where's your hand grenade?""I don't have a hand grenade.""What happened to the one I gave you for Christmas?""I forgot about that," she said. "I guess it's around the apartment somewhere.""You lost a hand grenade in your apartment?" Nick said. "Next time I visit I'll be more careful.

they have enough testosterone between them, if testosterone were electricity they could light up New York City for the month of August

Maybe your pregnant. Oops, hold on, you're not pregnant, on account of you're not gettin any.

I was pressed for time, so all I was able to whip up was deviled eggs with a dollop of Tsar Nicoulai caviar on top, a selection of fruit and artisanal cheeses, and sauteed Dover sole with lemon and capers."Kate's idea of preparing a quick meal was eating Cap'n Crunch out of the box, so this was Christmas dinner by comparison.

Why do you gotta be going somewhere? Seems like it should be enough that we had nachos. And we got meaningful jobs. We catch bad guys. If it wasn't for us, there'd be vampires and all kinds of shit running around loose.

Honey, a man can't keep his gun in a cookie jar. It just isn't done.

Suppose I lay down on the pavement and you run over me a few times with my own car...just for old times.

You're such a cupcake.

I rushed us out of your parents' house because I didn't think I could manage two hours at the dinner table with everyone focused on Joe Loosey's joystick sitting in the refrigerator next to the applesauce.