790 Quotes by Janet Evanovich

We’ve got to get into shape,” I said to Lula. “We should go to a gym or something.” “I’d sooner set myself on fire.” That about summed it up for me, too.

It wasn’t exactly that Lula was fat. It was more that she was too short for her weight.” – Stephanie Plum.

Okay, I know he was captain of the football team and he could bake a cake – that didn’t mean I was ready to suck his finger. I was picky about what I put in my mouth. “I’ll wait,” I told him. “Wouldn’t want to spoil my appetite.

Which was one reason why Revolt of the Zombie Strippers was being shot in Gallup and not in a warehouse in Van Nuys.

Everyone knows that if you buy chocolate with spare change, then the calories don’t count.

It says here she held up a Frito-Lay truck?” “Apparently she was on that no-carbohydrate diet, got her period and snapped when she saw the truck parked in front of a convenience store. Just got whacked out at the thought of all those chips. She threatened the driver with a nail file, filled her car with bags of Fritos, and took off, leaving the driver standing there in front of his empty truck.

One minute I was having a day like any other, and then Whack an this guy didn’t have no head“ Lula Finger Lickin 15.

Cupcake, you’ve been breaking my heart for as long as I’ve known you.

We don’t usually write up accidents involving rabbits. – Joe Morelli.