790 Quotes by Janet Evanovich

I’m for sure a workaholic. I’m a complete control freak and I take on way too many projects.

He’s going to jail. He can’t see. He can’t hear. He can’t take a leak that lasts under fifteen minutes. But he has an erection and all the other problems are small change. Next time around I’m coming back as a man. Priorities are clearly defined. Life is simple.

Ranger plays by his own set of rules, and I don’t have a complete copy.

Sometimes I moonlight for a guy named Ranger who’s extremely bad in an incredibly good way.

Grandma pulled a .44 magnum out of her purse. Everybody duck, and I’ll shoot out his tires.

What’s on your bucket list?” I asked. “I got six things so far,” Grandma said. “First off, I want new breasts. These ones I got are a mess.

Cracker Jacks don’t count as junk food because they’re corn and peanuts, which we know to be high in nutrition. And they have a prize inside.

My mother drove back to the intersection. “Who are you dating?” “Don’t ask,” I said. I wasn’t dating anyone. I was fornicating with Batman.

You have to step on people’s feet and kick them in the back of the leg,” Grandma said, “then they move away from you.