29 Quotes by Jason Jones

I have a very short attention span, so books have never been my thing.

The Holiday Inn Express brand is known for great service, comfortable beds, all-you-can-eat ice from machines at every hotel, so I was pretty excited when they asked me to be a part of their Smart Thinking Platform.

I get 'The New Yorker,' and I'm usually about three issues behind. But I do catch up. The problem is that it always seems like homework, but then you start reading it and go, 'Why am I not doing this all the time? These are such great stories!' But, yeah, that stack gets so big and dense.

You can find comedy anywhere.

As long as Fox News continues to exist, you've got comedy.

I can only speak for myself, but you never set out to be funny. You just set out to play the scenes real, and hopefully the funny comes.

Kids are appendages on so many family sitcoms. They'll come in, they'll make half a joke, and then they're like, 'OK, gotta go to school,' or 'I'm going to my room.' And then you never see them again.

The suburbs have this veneer of happiness, you know? This veneer of the ideal life. From afar, it's all together - white picket fence, nice house - but you peel away one little layer, and it all comes crumbling down.

It's one of my favourite types of comedy, just the awkward moments on camera. For many people, it's unbearable to watch, but I love seeing it when it's done right.