41 Quotes by Jasper Carrott

Having signed a few autographs in my time, I always wonder what the heck people do with them.

I just felt that 'Golden Balls' was the right thing to do. I didn't care if people thought I was a failure.

I have to confess here that I am a useless cook.

I was never the class clown, and I've no idea where the comedy came from.

My driving habits are so ingrained that the driving examiner would fail me in the first mile. That's provided he hadn't died of a heart attack by then.

I want to do things I enjoy, and show business comes fifth or sixth down the line.

I've always been sensible with my money. I can't say I'm a business genius.

I've played with some very famous bandits in my time on the celebrity golf circuit.

The whole debate on what food is best for us is complex, ongoing and often controlled by vested interests.