41 Quotes by Jasper Carrott

I learned a lot about human nature. So much, in fact, that human nature will be my specialist subject on 'Mastermind'.

I have realised that my time has come and gone. I'm not bitter, just a realist.

Ringo isn't the best drummer in the world. He isn't even the best drummer in the Beatles.

If you were asked to go on 'Mastermind,' what would your specialist subject be? I wouldn't have a clue what I could answer questions on. Birmingham City Football Club would be a start, I suppose, but with a hundred odd years of history, thousands of matches, players and incidents to recall, even access to Google would leave me struggling.

I started to develop my comedy skills when I became resident singer at the Boggery Folk Club in Solihull. My career blossomed from there, and I became a big draw on the folk-club circuit.

My real name is Bob Davis, but for some reason, I got the name Jasper while playing football at the local rec when I was nine years old, and it just stuck. Years later, when someone asked 'Jasper who?' I just said 'Carrott' - but I have no idea why I came out with that particular word.

After leaving school, I got a job in a department store not dissimilar to Grace Bros in 'Are You Being Served?'

Touring has been a major part of my career. I've done a lot of huge shows, including a 13-night sell-out stint at the Indoor Arena in Birmingham, playing to a total audience of 65,000.

Celador always ask me to do their shows, and I turned down 'Millionaire.' I couldn't have done it as well as Chris Tarrant, or at least I couldn't have done it any better.