1,222 Quotes by Jay Leno

The entire spring and summer line from Marc Jacobs was stolen on the way to the fashion show in Paris. The thief is considered armed and fabulous.

When Clinton said he was going to create 8 million new jobs, I didn't think they were all going to be tax collectors.

Actually, the University of California says they may start a marijuana research center. Really? I thought the University of California was a marijuana research center.

Some members of Congress now are complaining they are underpaid. They want to propose a pay raise. You can't blame them. A lot of them took a big income hit when Enron folded.

Seems there's a big debate going on about whether a new TV commercial for Minute Maid orange juice portrays Popeye and Bluto as gay lovers or just good friends. The commercial shows Popeye and Bluto at the beach and riding a bicycle for two. I don't think that makes them gay. I think the fact they both find Olive Oyl attractive, that makes them gay.

Barack Obama said today that politics has become too gummed up by money and influence ... and then he had to leave to attend a fundraiser.

The report on climate change said that humans are very likely making the planet warmer. To which Hillary Clinton said, 'Hey, can't blame me for that one.'

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

The NFL draft is going to be this Thursday. That's a huge night for college players. That's the night they start being paid over the table.