438 Quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

That’s the great thing about a tractor. You can’t really hear the phone ring.

There’s no down time any more.

The things that I’m talking about not knowing, they’re not mysteries of the universe; it’s just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.

We’re a heart attack away from losing the right to bear arms.

You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y’all Doin’?

I wish I could relate to the people I’m related to.

My grandma’s the most careful, safe driver in the world. You put her in a rental car, and she’s doing doughnuts in the K-Mart parking lot!

Some people like to keep their grass cut really short, so they can see the intruders coming. Keep those kill zones open. I say let the grass grow tall so they don’t know there’s a house behind it. Some call it lazy, I say it’s thinking.

You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they’ve got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.