438 Quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

When I did the sitcom I was too naive. I thought, Well, they know what they’re talking about, let’s do that.

Ladies have come up with all these expressions to reassure men. “Oh, honey, it’s not the size of the ship, it’s the motion of the ocean.” That may be true, but it takes a long time to get to England in a rowboat.

The only negative about doing stand-up is that you’re on the road by yourself. When you’re on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, “Can you believe they’re paying us to do this? They’re crazy.”

You might be a redneck if you’ve ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister’s honor.

I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don’t know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn’t have to be a big one.

Kids aren’t suppose to have cancer, they’re suppose to have a future.

My whole career can be summed up with ‘Ignorance is bliss.’ When you do not know better, you do not really worry about failing.

People should see your faith. If all you do is talk about your faith and people don’t see it, but they ought to see it in the way you treat your family, you treat your friends, you treat your community.

If men have a smell it’s usually an accident.