438 Quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, ‘I’m just dating my sister and couldn’t swear that it wasn’t a weather balloon.’

We probably stagnate our children’s emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us.

As a comedian I appreciate every kind of comedy. You decide for yourself what you’re going to do.

I say, If everybody in this house lives where it’s God first, friends and family second and you third, we won’t ever have an argument.

I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I’d spent about half the day in the woods.

If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I’d just shave mine off.

Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that’s a bonus, and if you don’t, you still won’t hate going to work.

I’m two decisions away from putting up drywall for a living. I am, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but whatever I got, it’s through the grace of God, and I’ve got to use it right.

You might be a redneck if it’s easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.