48 Quotes by Jeff Garlin

If you're gonna be a maniac, pyro's not a good maniac.

There's only one true superpower amongst human beings, and that is being funny. People treat you differently if you can make them laugh.

When you see a bad romantic comedy, you see the script, the director, and the actors trying to create this warmth and this pathos and this feeling that you care about them. That cannot be manufactured - it's either there or it isn't.

As an individual doing a podcast, you don't get even remotely rich. It's not something to do for money.

I hate cellphones. They are not for good, they're for evil. They're for gossip.

I never analyze stuff with comedy because it's boring. It makes you stop being funny. Just be who you are and do what you do, and you're either funny or you're not.

The reality is [in] any emotional situation, a compulsive eater eats or an alcoholic drinks. What people misunderstand is that when you're a compulsive overeater, you don't just eat when things are bad. You eat when you feel anything.

I felt very comfortable about myself when I was much heavier. I feel much better about myself from being fit.

The worst kind of idiot is the one who doesn't think they're an idiot.