63 Quotes by Jeff Ross

You don't mess with Oprah. She has enough money in her left pocket to have me killed.

With roasting, you've really got to bring your A-game. I hate to admit it, but I probably think and obsess more about the roasts than my own series. Because there's so much attention focused on the roasts. It's like the 'Super Bowl' of comedy. Everybody is going to talk about it. Forever.

As soon as a roast is announced, I get everybody - family, friends, waitresses, cab drivers - giving me jokes about the person getting roasted. I'm the mouthpiece for the masses.

Could you imagine me and the roasters taking on the GOP field? It would be the greatest show ever. Prove that you can take a joke. Prove that you're a man or woman of the people. Prove that you're not above criticism even in the form of a backhanded compliment.

I think Jersey stands alone, and because I'm from Jersey, I never make fun of where people are from. I'll make fun of what they look like, but I'll never make fun of where they are from. Jersey is special.

Humor that is edgy is never squeaky clean.

I don't think you cross the line - I think you move the line.

It's up to comedians to shine the light on what's wrong in the world, and we don't want things swept under the rug.

Nobody likes a bad sport, no matter what the circumstances are.