63 Quotes by Jeff Ross

I'd like to do a Jewish porno movie. I'd call it 'I don't Want to Do That.

If the density of naturally spawned bass is more than 25 percent below average, the lake receives the higher stocking rate.

I think it's important for comedians to do our little part. I don't do it carelessly. I do it thoughtfully. I don't try to just shock. I try to make a statement.

Our coaches kept reminding us, all week, to stay calm, stay calm. They knew the kind of atmosphere we'd have to deal with tonight.

People love to see public figures get taken down a notch, and by the same token, everyone loves to be the center of attention, even when there's a target on their forehead.

I was the kid who always hung back and then dropped the jokes when you least expected it. Timing was everything. My mouth sort of developed over time.

I think comics should test people, I think it's our job to go too far. That way we know as a society what too far is. Where else are you going to hear it?

It doesn't matter what the records are. Both teams play up to the challenge of the game.

Just because a lake needs bass, it doesn't mean it's in poor shape. All lakes have good and bad years.