168 Quotes by Jen Lancaster

I’ve determined the ideal job for me is one where I can write clever essays about my life and my employer will give me enough money not only to live a comfortable existence, but also to buy many, many new pairs of shoes.

Dessert is my reward for having met my goals during the day. Really, dessert is an event rather than a specific item.

Kiss the fattest part of my ass.

Amen,′ I exclaim, accidentally spitting out a Raisinet. I pick up the chocolate with a Kleenex and stuff it in my purse. Ten bucks says a month from now I’ll have forgotten about it and will finally have said heart attack when I assume a rat shat in there.

Expressing political opinion can be a powerful way to establish a character’s voice when writing fiction.

I still believe in the Holy Trinity, except now it’s Target, Trader Joe’s, and IKEA.

Couple this discovery with the realization that my things shouldn’t own me and that life’s meant to be lived, not displayed on Pinterest, and my sense is I’ve finally achieved something close to balance. I feel excellent about actually having.

Butterflies are a lot like rainbows: They’re phenomenally beautiful in real life, yet no graphic representation can do them justice; ergo, it’s best to forgo.

I’m very detail oriented. I think that’s why people enjoy my memoirs – because I tend to remember everything.