168 Quotes by Jen Lancaster

When you think about a drill sergeant, a drill sergeant expects you to perform your best, and if you don't, they're going to stay on you until you do.

My friend created an iPhone app that locates Vienna Beef products across the country. Personally, I came hardwired with an internal GPS that instinctively points me toward coffee shops, cupcake stores and the perfect Chicago-style dog, so I find this technology redundant.

Now with social media, people essentially come into my living room, my virtual living room, and tell me everything that is wrong with me.

I didn't want to turn into Martha Stewart. I wanted to turn into a more organized, more gracious me. And that truly has happened.

I am going to embarrass myself. I have accepted that fact, and that's just how it's going to be.

I believe that I have such a vanilla life. But maybe I come with a different perspective. I'm always trying to improve myself.

I believe that I have such a vanilla life.

I'm a humor writer, so I don't always present myself in the best light.

Here's a bit of Discovery Channel for you - apples don't last forever. They can stay fresh for a long time, especially when refrigerated, but definitely not from December into the month of March.