163 Quotes by Jennifer Crusie

The measuring and mixing always smoothed out her thinking processes - nothing was as calming as creaming butter - and when the kitchen was warm from the oven overheating and the smell of baking chocolate, she took final stock of where she'd been and where she was going. Everything was fine.

She's startin' to show her age, bless her heart," Brenda said with satisfaction."She was up all night working on your dress for your granddaughter," Lisa Livia snapped. "She was up all night ruining my wedding dress," Brenda shot back."Bless her heart," Agnes said.Brenda jerked back to glare at Agnes.

Well, nobody ever accused you of having taste," Brenda said, "Bless your heart.""Taylor," Agnes said. "You can go now. You and the whore you rode in on. Bless her heart."Brenda exhaled through her teeth.

Wonder of wonders, the box had Elvis. Immediately the bar seemed a better place. She fed in coins and then punched the keys for "Hound Dog." Too bad Elvis had never recorded one called "Dickhead.

Broaden your horizons. They're the only ones you'll ever have, so make the suckers as wide as possible.

Shane cut into the pancake and forked up a bite: light, tender, nutty, sweet, and buttery, just like Agnes. Home cooking.

Think before you eat, people: Food should be the life of you, not the death of you.

I've got you, Agnes," Taylor said, not fazed in the slightest."You had me, Taylor," Agnes said. "Now you've got Brenda, you poor, doomed sap. And Joey 'The Gent' and Shane after your ass. You better go now. Your flunky is out in his van, and his feet are turning to ice while you wait. At any minute now, he's going to tear up that report and go somewhere far away until the wedding is over.""Nah, he-""And Shane's coming home any minute."Taylor looked over his shoulder.

My court-appointed psychiatrist says I should vent my anger in nonviolent physical excercise." She smacked him in the chest again, and he winced and caught her wrists."You know, Agnes, that's not the hottest thing any woman has ever said to me."She yanked her wrists free and pounded her fists into his chest again, then let go of his shirt to strip off her dress and throw it on the floor.He stopped frowning. "Course, it's not the worst thing any woman has ever said to me, either.