392 Quotes by Jenny Lawson

There was no way to explain to this stranger how my mental illness had just gifted me with a magical moment. I realized it would have sounded a bit crazy, but that made sense. After all, I was a bit crazy. And I didn’t even have to pretend to be good at it. I was a damn natural.

It’ll be like when your parents give you the biggest present at Christmas but you unwrap it and there’s a smaller present inside and that keeps happening until you have a mountain o wrapping paper, some new socks, and a lot of unresolved anger.

Yeah, I know what “off the horse” means. I just can’t remember how we got to the point where I’m defending myself against the imaginary accusations of a man who gives hairless rats to neighborhood children, and who apparently trusts the nonexistent squirrel junkies in the attic.

Don’t compare your insides with someone else’s outsides.

I don’t need Botox,” Laura countered. “I got Bangtox. It’s when you decide to get bangs to cover your forehead wrinkles. It totally works and no one injects poison in your face.” I.

Every time I get scared or feel like I’m not going to be good enough at something, I say that mantra to myself. “Pretend you’re good at it.”

You’ve overthought this. Well, I have an anxiety disorder. This is what it’s like in my head all the time.

I’m betting the dark side had good life insurance plans. The dark side always seemed very organized and vaguely Republican.

I’m not sure I have the words to describe that moment but if there’s a word that means the exact opposite of “ladylike”, that would be a good start.