392 Quotes by Jenny Lawson

I had always wanted to go on the Orient Express, but that I’d sort of consider it a wasted opportunity if a murder didn’t happen. It’s not that I’m particularly bloodthirsty, it’s just that I have standards.

Because you are defined not by life’s imperfect moments, but by your reaction to them. And because there is joy in embracing – rather than running from – the utter absurdity of life.

A friend is someone who knows where all your bodies are buried. Because they’re the ones who helped you put them there.

You never think to appreciate your arms until you need them to stop the floor from punching you in the face.

Someone has to be the worst ninja in the class. That’s just basic math.

Everyone has human heads in their closet. Sometimes the heads are secrets, or unsaid confessions, or quiet fears. This book is one of those severed heads.

There is something wonderful in accepting someone else’s flaws especially when it gives you the chance to accept your own and see that those flaws are the things that make us human.

Australia is filled with roundabouts and everyone drives on the wrong side of the road. In the end we decided to split up the work and I feverishly watched the GPS and yelled, “Left! Right! ROUNDABOUT!

There are few things in the world that make me angrier than poverty, the lack of basic human civil rights, and the fact that most women’s clothes don’t have pockets.