392 Quotes by Jenny Lawson

Most people don’t have poisonous tap water in their house.

Victor frowned and pointed out that most people don’t own entire pieces of furniture dedicated to weapons, and I began to suspect Victor was not actually from Texas.

Cats act with their eyes. They are the small, silent film actors of their time, and they are vastly underrated.

You have to confront those decapitated heads because you can’t grow without acknowledging that we are all made up from the weirdness that we try to hide from the rest of the world. Everyone has human heads in their closet.

I hope one day to be better, and I’m pretty sure I will be. I hope one day I live in a world where the personal fight for mental stability is viewed with pride and public cheers instead of shame. I hope it for you too.

The only person you need to be better than is the person you were yesterday.

You’re quietly curled up with a book designed to make you a better, happier, more introspective person. You win.1 You are amazing.

I’d eat a human foot if it was smothered in enough cheese and butter.

The last e-mail I got about the get-together suggested several shoe changes in one day. I only have one pair of nice shoes and they’re flats. MY SISTER: Well, you have arthritis, so you have a good excuse. ME: Yes, but I feel like I need to put that on my shirt: “Please don’t judge my flats. I have a disability.