392 Quotes by Jenny Lawson

The phrase “Rest in peace” seems incredibly self-serving. It basically means, “Stay in your grave. Don’t haunt me.

And maybe one day I’ll be found, and someone will explain to me why I am the way that I am. Or maybe not. After all, some stories aren’t meant to be told.

I assume this must be quite confusing for people whom I’ve communicated with only via e-mail and texts, since I can actually come across as reasonably witty and coherent in e-mail, because I have time to think about what a normal, filtered, mentally stable adult would write before I press “Send.” This is why I prefer to talk to people only electronically.

I wanted to cheer him up, but it felt weird wanting to cheer up someone who was possibly depressed because they didn’t murder you correctly, and that’s when I thought, “This must be what love is. When you want to make it less difficult for someone to murder you.” And that’s when I realized that I was far too in love with him for my own good, and also that I probably needed therapy.

There is such freedom in being able to celebrate and appreciate the unique moments that recharge you and give you peace and joy.

I have learned that every person in the world is on the spectrum of mental illness.

They gave me drugs and told me to see a gallbladder specialist to make sure the stone had passed. I told them that hamsters can only blink one eye at a time. I considered this a fair trade but they billed my insurance company anyway.

And Then I Got Stabbed in the Face by a Serial Killer.

We find ourselves unable to do anything but cling to the couch and force ourselves to breathe.