172 Quotes by Jeremy Clarkson

I'm a horse of a man!

If the Scottish want to break away, I shall stand on Hadrian's Wall with a teary handkerchief, and say: 'Good riddance to the lot of you, and take your stupid bagpipes with you.'

If a football official were to call for a slow-motion replay every time Didier Drogba fell over, each match would last about six weeks.

Unlike furious thin-lipped feminists, I tend not to draw distinctions between men and women, apart from in bed where you really do need to spot the difference.

Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you've got the Ebola virus and you're about to sneeze.

This is perfect for India because everyone who comes here gets the trots.

Looking good in Italy is even more important than looking where you're going.

They are by far the worst drivers. They are spiteful, dithering, old and in the way. They should have their licences taken away.

The newest Ferrari of them all, the 458, the Italia. The GT3 was good, but nowhen near as good as this... almost nothing on Earth is as good as this... Set that something I've just told, involving Cameron Diaz... and some honey... then it comes that even that isn't as good as this.